For my first ever winter kyol che in Hong Kong, I arrived at the beautiful Gak Su Temple with a beginner’s mind, readying myself for a nine-week retreat to harmonise my body and mind and to explore the true nature of life.
When I go to a retreat, I usually work on a question that is inspired by the first Dharma talk of that retreat.
The retreat last week for me was truly an impactful one. Even though it was my 7th year going to retreats in Gaksu, I had some new experiences that really revolutionized my practice.
SLEEPINESS DURING SITTING
While sitting this year's winter retreat at Gaksu, one word kept appearing in my mind – rhythm. The more I observed the retreat with this word in mind, the more rhythms I noticed. It seems that there is a rhythm to every aspect of our Zen practice, and these rhythms become more and more pronounced as we sink deeper and deeper into the retreat.
4:30 a.m. The first moktak sounds. Everyone jumps out of bed, folds their sheets and blankets, and heads downstairs to brush their teeth and wash their faces.
Put down anger, put down dissatisfaction, put down tension, put down stress, put down internal knots, put down stubbornness, put down thinking, put down emotion, put down my opinion, put down expectations, put down craving, put down discriminating mind, put down right and wrong, put down good and bad...
On the way to the Zen Center for morning service, I got stuck in the lift. I arrived at the Zen Center building at 5:25 am and the lift that was opened had a bag of rubbish in it. I hesitated initially whether to get in but as it was nearly sitting time, I went into the lift so I could arrived before sitting meditation begins. On the way up the lift stopped at 2/F. I pressed all the different buttons and nothing happened.
Barely a month into a new, passionate relationship, I had to leave Hong Kong for three weeks in Latin America. Before I had this relationship, I was very excited about my Latin American trip. I had never been to several of these countries before, so I was thrilled imaging my first time drinking Colombian coffee in Bogota, visiting the Panama Canal, or stepping into the Ecuadorian rain forest. Now, only a few days into this three-week trip, I am missing my partner so badly, and all that I want is to return to HK and be with him.
One of my friends attained something after reading Zen Master Bon Yeon's great book, "One Hundred Days of Solitude: Losing Myself and Finding Grace on a Zen Retreat." She was so happy after reading Jane's book that she became worried.
"WHAT IS THE CATCH?" she asked me.
"It cannot last," I responded. "Everything is impermanent."
