During a Q&A session, a student asked Zen Master Dae Kwan a question about love.
Q: Why is it bad to feel attached to people you love? Isn't secure attachment an important part of building a relationship? 💬
A: Because when you are attached, you want to control the person and you fear losing them. And when there is fear, that love is not true love.
We can reframe how we understand love: truly cherish the other person, and live in the present moment. You can love someone, but do not be attached. 🌱
Conditional love is painful and gives rise to affliction. So what is unconditional love?
When I was younger, I deeply wished to ordain. But as a daughter, earning money to support the family was also my duty.
At that time, my elder sister said to me, "Sister, don't worry. Go and do what your heart is calling you to do. I'll take care of the family."